2 Must-Haves for a Great Relationship
Creating a happy and healthy relationship can feel confusing at times.
I think much of it can be broken down into two simple parts:
Passion + Friendship
(By the way, even if you aren't in a relationship right now, this can be helpful for the future and knowing what to look for in a new relationship.)
The friendship is the part that builds the relationship. It's like the structure.
It includes trust, a feeling of safety with each other, the ability to be yourself (flaws and all), the playfulness and silliness, the emotional intimacy and the bond between the two.
The passion is where the attraction is. It's the desire for the other, the fire, the affection, the physical intimacy and excitement.
You need a balance of the two to feel satisfied with your relationship.
It's hard to have the passion long-term without the friendship.
If you don't feel safe, secure, liked, and accepted for who you are, you will have trouble feeling desire and excitement with the other.
But when your partner can help you grow and improve and yet still loves you and wants you as you are- well, then it's on! Am I right?
Seriously though, that's attractive, isn't it?
They care enough about you and the relationship to work on it, to challenge you, to push you and help you grow but at the same time you know they still love you and want you and that they aren't going anywhere. They're in it with you for good.
So then the passion flows easily.
If you feel unsafe, insecure with them, unsure about their level of honesty, unaccepted and there's no fun and playfulness in your time together, it's hard to feel passionate and affectionate toward them.
But listen, if you and your partner don't have these things right now, it's never too late to build them. The key here is that both people have to want it equally and be willing to put in the effort to make it work.
Start with the friendship- have regular date nights, play with each other, make the other laugh, share your feelings, try to understand the other person's perspective and needs, and accept each other.
That should begin to flow pretty naturally into the passion- be affectionate with one another, hold hands, dance in the living room, surprise your partner with little romantic gestures, and show them that you desire them.
You deserve a beautiful love.